On smartfones - again

For friends who have been following this blog, I can understand if your first impression is: talking about smartfones AGAIN? I can also understand if you read no further ... It is "again" because my family felt the need to revisit this topic a few days ago. It just occurred to me that, for many years, I had been insisting on putting the desktop computer out in the open in the living room for two reasons: (1) everyone else can see what we are doing - the sites that we are visiting - and that enhances accountability; and (2) others can help us keep track of the time we spend, especially on unproductive things, and so help to remind us not to over-indulge in computer time. But I just realized that the children's use of smartfones (and the easy wifi access anywhere in the house, not to mention 3G service everywhere else) directly sabotages the principles mentioned above. So while the home computer still sits in the living room as a semblance of accountability, smartfones are used everywhere all over the house and at all times without accountability. I was glad that we (parents and the two older children) could sit down and have a nice calm meeting to talk through our concerns and counter-concerns regarding smartfone-use in the home. In the end, we arrived at these 'rules': 1. Use of phones only in 'public' spaces in the home such as in the living room and kitchen, not in toilets and bedrooms; 2. Bedroom doors should remain open (of course, except when we need to change) so we can help each other in the monitoring; 3. No use of phones after 10pm; 4. When not in use, phones should be placed at a common space 5. When found to contravene these rules above, we should be prepared to give up the use of the fone without putting up a resistance. These rules apply to all, including me. So friends, if you send me a message after 10, you now know why you may only get a reply the next morning. I can understand a reader may find this too restrictive and even counter productive in the long term - one may argue for a case that this is replacing the self-discipline that children should inculcate for themselves in the long run. For me, I have seen that gadget-addiction knows no boundaries - it afflicts both children as well as adults (including me). I think it helps to maintain a discipline right from the start. What do you think?

Parents giving tuition to children

It just occurred to me that I have been giving maths tuition to my children for some 12 years now (since my eldest was Primary 1 and he is now awaiting his A Level results). When I began this regular twice-a-week tuition journey with my children, I didn't give it much thought. I was then motivated by these instincts: since I am a maths teacher, it seems natural that I teach my children maths; that I can save money by not engaging tutors is an added bonus! Recently, a colleague who is also a maths teacher remarked that he "can't teach his children and would rather engage a tutor". This prompted me to reflect on my practice of tutoring my children. In hindsight, there were indeed many moments of tension. The big difference between teaching my children and other people's children is this: i have a tendency to lose my professionalism. For example, when I am faced with a struggling student in class (or during one-one consultation), my professional mode kicks in - keep calm and patient, diagnose his difficulties, work out an internal remediation plan, and execute it with encouragement. But when it is with my children, two big problems crop out: I up my expectations (unconsciously) of their behavior and ability - to a point that I am setting myself up for disappointment; and, to make it worse, the children, because of their over-familiarity with me, tend to exhibit bad attitudes and behavior that they don't normally reveal to their teachers, further fueling the tension. When these problems cannot be overcome, the tuition sessions become charged with negative energy and emotional blockades rather than enjoyment and positive learning. I can therefor understand why some parents - even those who are teachers by profession - choose to avoid this potential strain in parent-child relationship. By I have also experienced many positives in this 12-year journey. As a parent, I have certainly grown more patient with my children over time. I have Learnt to accept that, like my students in school, they too find certain ideas (that seemed obvious to me) strange at first introduction and more time/explanation is needed before they sink in. I have also learnt - through tuition interactions - that each of my child has different academic orientations as well as psychological barriers. We can then work through some of these mental hindrances - whether it is a lack of confidence or distorted beliefs about maths - both during and after tuition sessions. As a teaching professional, the experience of teaching my children - and that over different year levels from P1 to JC - has opened up new perspectives of how different children learn (or find it difficult to learn), and allowed me to test out a range of instructional approaches. I believe that has also helped me to be a better teacher. In terms of parent-child relationship, if we can work out a certain routine - such as "no walking out from the tuition table" - I think it can help draw bring down potential inhibitions in out relationship. After all, they are used to asking me questions and hearing my answers during tuition, it would not be strange to approach me for advice on other things of life? These are, of course, purely from my perspective of things, I am quite sure you will get something different from my children. For sure, my wife gives a different assessment, "never seen such a lazy tutor! Doing his own stuff while giving tuition ..." Er ... I may this discussion over is last comment for a separate blog ...