I received a parenting encouragement yesterday - from a surprising source: my father.
My family was having our regular once-a-week dinner-out with my parents. We were seated in longish tables - my parents were seated opposite my eldest son and I. I was having quite an extended chat with my son (on something that I couldn't remember exactly now, but it was about singapore's population; anyway, the contents of our chat is not the point here). Halfway in the chat, I noticed my parents were observing us carefully, then they started giggling. Distracted, I asked them to share the joke. They pointed to us and said, "both of you look more like friends, not father and son".
I am not sure if they meant to say it as something they felt positive or a sign of degenerationn of my fatherly authority. That they found it amusing could mean that it is something they find rare to them, and hopefully in a pleasantly refreshing way. I would interpret it positively. I have always thought that as my children grow up, my relationship with them should morph gradually from one of teacher-student to one of friends (and perhaps mentor-mentee). This way, they will find it easier to share to me their struggles of life and easier for me to present the more human aspect of myself to them too.
For a long time, I was wondering if I was making any progress in this long-term friendship-building exercise. It is encouraging to receive a positive report card occasionally from an external party, especially from one's father.
