Tired?

Ever felt tired as a father?

I do. Always. I have 4 children with ages ranging from 4 to 17. My hours apart from work are mainly with children (and wife). For the youngest child, I try to spend time to play with him and read to him because I don't want to miss out on his growing up years - they zoom past you very quickly. For the middle two girls, they need a lot of attention. You know - girls, I think they need a fatherly figure to give them the affection and care so that they don't look for it elsewhere! As for the eldest boy, he is at an age where many things can go very wrong. I make it point to check out on him and help him with his schoolwork. You can imagine how tired it can get if you have to soldier on with this level of responsibility and commitment on a daily basis.

Well, some say,"what to do?"

I am not sure. I think we should not be so busy with responsibilities to a point where we do not have time for ourselves or to a point where we lose the joy of living. I noticed that when that happens to me, I get very grouchy and unhappy. Sometimes, that manifest in having a short temper with my wife and children and certainly can't be good for the family.

Perhaps I need to be a bit more selfish: if I am happy, I will be a better father and husband and therefore bring about a happier family atmosphere for us all. How to be a happier father and husband? I am trying two ways. One way is to schedule regular events so that I can have time for myself - away from children - so that I don't get so overladen with a deep sense of responsibility. This I do by having once a week night off coffee chats with friends. I really enjoy those sessions and it relaxes me.

Another way is to have a change of mindset. I used to view doing things for the family as responsibility - with capital R. Now I attempt to enjoy the time I spent with my family. Enjoyment need not merely be watching a movie or playing a sports. I have since found that reading a book with my son on my lap is a very heartwarming and enjoyable thing; so is having a heart to heart chat with my teenage daughter about the disappointments use faced with friends and teachers.

Still tired. But somehow you don't feel it so much when you are enjoying what you are doing.