Talking about sex

As most parents would testify, it is hard to talk about "sex" with our children. I recall the first time I broached it over our dinner table, it felt like it got stuck as a lump in my throat. I had to do the roundabout thing: do you know how plants multiply through fertilization? And how about animals? Have you seen how the lions copulate in the zoo? ... It was quite tough, but I got there. It was quite unnatural for me - having been brought up in a family that didn't discuss these matters openly. For me, I learnt it along the way from my friends - in hush tones and amidst lewd giggles - in school. It was quite bad 'education', as I picked up a lot of twisted ideas of what sex means, and had to spent many years subsequently unlearning them before slowly sorting my thoughts out about it. One perverse view of sex is the over-magnification of its attraction as pure sensual pleasure, obscuring the vital context within which this pleasure serves and derives its legitimacy from: marriage. This is God's design - that physical intimacy between husband and wife is both a physical expression of love between them as well as a glue that strengthens the bond in their marriage. But modern men have a knack for ripping out a wise design to take only the part - in this case, sex - that provides the quickest grafification. The Hollywood portrayal of sex as do-it-when-I-feel-like-it is a direct application of this perversion. It encourages an irresponsible and shallow understanding of sex that ultimately renders it as a hollow physical act and an irony - instead of bringing the satisfaction it promises, it creates a misplaced appetite for lust that is insatiable. When men isolate sex from marriage, they think it is a master stroke of ingenuity - to be able to enjoy pleasure without responsibility and accountability ( to God and wife). This deviation from God's design for true happiness may bring about fleeting pleasures, but never lasting satisfaction of the soul. [in fact, it results in lasting pains - morally, emotionally, and sometimes, even physically] But another wrong reaction - in the other extreme, and more common among boys who first hear about sex - is "eeee ... Yucks". Sex in this view is seen as 'dirty' and associated with something inordinate. This view must also be corrected - sex cannot be eeeky because God instituted it. It is part of His beautiful creation to be enjoyed under His wise design of marriage. The children should know that when their parents retire into the privacy of their bedroom, they are not doing some dark unspeakables in some dark corners of their room, they are living out one of the most beautiful expressions of love between man and woman as they rest assured within God's wonderful design. Well, I didn't intend to write so much on this. As you can see, there is quite a lot to untangle about sex. Which explains why I prefer that my children first hear it from me.